A Single Perfect Tear
by Hardline Tavern
Summary: Your beautiful cerulean eyes captivated me from the first moment I saw you." "But what about Trinity?" "Trinity is dead, and I accept that now. I've spent a lot of time thinking, and after five whole days, I've finally learnt to let go."


This is a WIP by the website frequenters of the link on the profile page. Anyone can play, should they be demented enough to want to...

**Rules; you have to work with the info that came before, but that is pretty much the only stipulation of that nature. Miraculous recoveries, totally OOC moments, and flashbacks to when people were alive is all good. No worries.  
  
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**The only other things- keep it shortish, to about a paragraph, so no one idea takes over. You also can't post unless at least one person has posted since your last.  
  
**

**Have fun. **

**A SINGLE PERFECT TEAR: BY THE HARDLINE TAVERN.  
_(AKA: OMG, they killed Trinity! But not, as yet, a SouthPark crossover.)_**

**_(One by Tamsin)_**

A single tear rolled mournfully down his cheek as he remembered making love to Trinity that fateful last night.  
  
"I will always love you, Trin baby" he whispered as the tear sploshed onto the grave. He bent over and kissed it before carefully placing a single perfect rose on it: as perfect as she was.  
  
"I will keep your memory alive in Baby Morpheus," he whispered fiercely, "and he will grow up to hate Ghost as much as I do for what he did!"

**_(Two by Spin)_**

Diamond Crystal Marie shook back her flowing golden hair, and manoevered her lithe and athletic 16-year old body into the chair in front of her computer. Her parents were away for the weekend, so it was time to get into some serious hacking.  
  
Diamond Crystal Marie, despite her angelic appearance, is the most established hacker on the planet. She prepares to log in and cause some serious damage. Her mother knocks on the door.  
  
"Andrea, would you like a sandwich?"  
  
"No, Mom." She sighed delicately, and set her creamy slim hands on the keyboard. Her parents just didn't understand her. They didn't understand that she thought about important things. Like the Matrix.  
  
Suddenly an IM from BehindTheMirror popped up on her screen.  
  
"Hello Diamond Crystal Marie" the window read.  
  
"Who are you?" she typed.  
  
"I'm a friend" the window responded.  
  
"You're Neo," She typed. "I just know. I always know."

_**(Three by Storm Troll)**_

Neo couldn't help but flashback to the cemetery as he replied to Diamond.

[This is a flashback. Cue Wangsty music...]

"Neo..."That voice."Trin, is that you?" He turned.There she was only she glittered faintly blue, in the way a magic 8-ball wouldn't."Neo..I am the ghost of Trinity, I've come back with a warning!""What is it?" He was shocked. He hadn't foreseen this."You must find the diamond in the rough, only she can help you against the terrible darkness that is coming.."She faded, and he collapsed on the ground sobbing, and pondering what she had meant.

_**(Four by Impromptu Requiem)**_

Suddenly, Ghost quietly ran into the room. Ghost, who loved Trinity, the coolest girl ever. The smartest, the brightest, and the prettiest. She had been growing her beautiful hair out at the end, making her even prettier. Ghost missed that the most.  
  
Ghost shouted in a calm manner, "How dare you Neo! I know Zen and what you said to Baby Morpheus! I hate you too!"  
  
He ran at Neo, who was still grieving over Trinity, shattered by her apparition. Neo, using his magical powers, flew around the room and kicked Ghost's ass. Then Neo stuttered. When he wasn't saving the world, he was rather dorky. But cute.  
  
"I'm sorry, Ghost, what did you want?"  
  
"I just realized you loved Trinity! It suddenly makes sense. I can never trust you!"  
  
The electricity crackled in the room as the two men who loved Trinity, the lady of the Matrix, more than their own lives, glared at each other to the core of their beings. Neo sensed Trinity's presence from beyond death, comforting and soothing him.  
  
Meanwhile, Diamond waited expectantly at the other end, batting her eyelashes in anticipation....

**_(Five by tamsin)_**

"Oh my God," Neo cried suddenly, "I forgot, I was in the middle of an important IM!"  
  
Grief does funny things to you, he reflected sadly.  
  
"You're Neo," She had typed. "I just know. I always know."  
  
She was so clever, he thought. Just like Trinity was clever. Neo wasn't very clever and he was a bit dorky, but he was the One, and that made up for a lot.  
  
"You are in danger" he typed.  
  
"I know," she put. She was getting a bit annoyed. "The Matrix has me and I am the best hacker alive, which is very sad as it means Trinity is not. "  
  
Tact was not her strong point.  
  
Neo felt tears well up. "I miss her," he typed.  
  
"I'm very sorry to hear that, she seemed very nice in the film." Diamond politely replied. "Now, do I need to follow the white rabbit?"  
  
"How did you know!!!"

_**(Six by Alina Kalime)**_

Diamond: Like, duh! I'm psychic!

Neo looks around scardidly. Wondering where the voice had come from, since Diamond had yet to type more in their chat.  
  
Neo: Whoa! Gag me with a spoon! So you can see the futuyre an stuyff?

Diamond: Yea! And I can be a disembodied voice, and can see the figure of the future, and cast magic spells and stuff!  
  
Dramatic music starts to play out of nowheere as Diamond suddenly appears in front of Neo in a pure white flowing dress (an: Think of the one that Arwen chick wears!). Her skin was glowing white and pale and soft as a baby's skin, her eyes big and blue, surrounded by pretty lashes. Her hair had been preened by swans and washed with that hawafena herbal essences stuff, so it smelled nice and that was the first thing Neo noticed.

**_(Seven by Storm Troll)_**

Then like, outta nowhere Agent Hairy Stu appeared. He was a reely bad guy. Reely bad. Bad. Get it?  
  
"I've come to cleean ze poo-el!" He screamed as he leapt to attack Diamond. But Neo was too quick for him.

"Why are you here!"

"I'm the bad guy in the plot. I'm here to make bad thing happen! And get my revenge for when you and Morpheus gang raped me like a pack of rabid prepubesant fan girls!"

Neo was shocked. Again.

"I don't remember that."

Diamond: Neo! Nooooooooo......!

[To be continued]

**_(Eight by Impromptu Requiem)_**

If it's over let it go and  
  
I'm in the real world now. Neo is so hot. And dorky (an its from her point of view!!) Agent Smith is weird too. Ew this room is so dark.

Come tomorrow it will seem  
So yesterday  
  
I left the real world. My cellphone, my computer, my closets, my eyeshadow. I was having the best chat with Captain Dayity. She uses the best leet.  
  
So yesterday  
I can do this. Agent Smith will hurt my beloved Neo!! We are meant to be -and I know how to fight, I watched the movies!  
  
I'm just a bird  
I'm watching on the side. Ghost said he loved Agent Smith! Omg, Neo is jealous of Ghost! No wait, they both like me! it's ok if he likes Ghost because Neo is cuter.  
  
Thats already flown away  
My new life. Bring it on. I can't wait to fly around. Free my mind beats up Agent Smith (an I suck at sports so I didn't write the fight, but imagine her kicking more ass than Neo cause of girlpower!!!)

Omg, Neo just proposed to me! He gave me a rose. And Ghost gave me a book!

**_(Eight by Empathy)_**

"Omg, Neo, do you really want to marry me?"  
  
"Of course I do, my sexy vixen. Your beautiful cerulean eyes captivated me from the first moment I saw you."  
  
"Oh, Neo. But what about Trinity?"

"Trinity is dead, and I accept that now. I've spent a lot of time thinking, and after five whole days, I've finally learnt to let go."_I'm never letting go._  
  
Neo shook his head. Why was he being tortured with all these strange memories?  
  
He took her hand and placed it over his heart. "Diamond Crystal Marie, I love you, and you are the only one who could ever take Trinity's place. This is what she would've wanted. She would want me to move on. You are so beautiful, with your golden hair cascading down your back, and your rosy cheeks and supple lips. I want to grow old with you, because you are my soul mate, and I can't bear the thought of living without you. I want to live with you on the prettiest street in Zion, and have a white picket fence and a robot dog, and we will grow old together. We will have children, and our children with have our children's children. We will call them Neo Jr, and Crystal, because that was your middle name in the real world, and another called Trinity, because without her I would have never found you. And maybe if I type long enough people won't really read all this sh1t that I'm writing, har har. Blah blah blah blah crap. Diamond Crystal Marie, will you make me the happiest man in the world and teach me how to love again? Will you mend my broken heart, that was shattered like the shards of the broken glass of the mirror to my soul?"  
  
He handed her a single red rose, each petal more perfect than the last."Oh Neo," she gasped. "Nothing would make me happier!" They embraced, and kissed passionately, for what seemed like an eternity.

**_(Nine by Storm Troll)_**

Neo kissed Diamond passionately, as though he were kissing Trin herself (aww thats so sweet).  
  
"Halt! I can let this go no further!" A voice called from behind.  
  
Neo and Diamond turned and saw a figure in dark robes. He was holding a flashlight.  
  
"Who are you?" they both asked.  
  
"I am Darth Caseus. The obligatory self-insertion crossover character. And I am in love with Diamond, I will not let you have her! Kick your ass I will."  
  
Neo pushed Diamond behind him into safety.  
  
"Then I shall fight you. For my Fu is stronger than your fu!"  
  
Darth Caseus pushed a button on his flashlight and an orange beam jumped out of it.  
  
"Don't forget about me!" Ghost yelled from across the room.

**_(Ten by Lexie)_**

Neo stood protectively in front of his one true love, ready to take on anything to defend her life. It would be an honour to die for her.

And soon the two love-sick men were locked in a frightening looking battle, and Neo was losing badly.  
  
"Neo!" Diamond wailed pitifully, her eyes welling with tears as Neo suffered another blow to the head. He could not die, he was her one true love. It would be a cruel kiss of fate if Neo died just as they found each other. She wanted to look away as Neo was beaten into a bloody pulp by the gratuitous crossover character, but she couldn't tear her wide sapphire eyes away from the gory battle being acted out in front of her...  
  
Her long, silky golden hair fluttering behind her, Diamond dove in front of Neo just as Darth Caseus plunged his lightsaber tazer weapon towards Neo's torso...

**_(Eleven by Videl86)_**

_Her long, silky golden hair fluttering behind her, Diamond dove in front of Neo just as Darth Caseus plunged his lightsaber tazer weapon towards Neo's torso... _  
  
Neo closed his eyes, awaiting the death that was about to befall him. For alas he would never see his beloved Diamond again. The very thought of this brought tears to Neo's eyes.  
  
He opened them again when he heard a scream and a yell of frustration. What he saw just caused the tears to start flowing. Diamond lay on the floor dead...  
  
Once the shock was over Neo charged at Darth Caseus with a scream of rage. Just as he was about to give the evil crossover man a powerful right hook a blinding light came forth from where Diamond lay.  
  
Diamond stood and walked over to where the men were engaged in combat. As she finally got a good look at the evil man, she blinked. "I can see in code." She stuttered.  
  
"What?" Neo asked shocked.  
  
"I can see in code." She said firmly.

_**(Twelve by Tamsin)**_

"No," Neo said crossly, "you can't. I can see in code because I am the One. But this is the real world, so that's just stupid. No you can't, and even in the Matrix, only I can. You're cute, but don't push it, sweetheart."  
  
"You're very out of character." Diamond said tartly.  
  
"I'm in love with you, and Trinity's cool with it beyond the grave, and Morpheus and I gang raped an agent. What's your damage?"  
  
"Touche."  
  
Ghost suddenly appeared. "I just killed that Lord of the Sith," he casually observed. "You two seemed a bit distracted."  
  
"Showoff," Neo muttered.  
  
Diamond glared at him. "That was very thoughtful, Ghost," she said graciously, casting her lapis lazuli orbs in his direction and tossing her silky golden locks over her shoulder.  
  
Ghost seemed taken by her. He stared for a moment, then simpered slightly. "Hi," he said. "We've not met, I'm Ghost."  
  
"Oh God, not again." Neo said sourly. "Look, Mr Supporting Cast, your job is to yearn after the unattainable and speak like a fortune cookie; whereas mine is to save the world and get laid. Capische?"  
  
A cloud crossed Ghost's face. "Shut up, Neo," he said, "and tell me- where's Baby Morpheus?"  
  
Neo went white. "Oh shit. Good question. Where _is_ Baby Morpheus?"

**_(Thirteen by Storm Troll)_**

"I stole him." Cypher said, stepping out from behind some like totally concealling rubble.  
  
"But Cypher, you're dead!" said everyone else, including You, the reader.  
  
"Well, you're wrong, it was all a clever hoax."  
  
"I see." said Ghost, making himself not invisible again, and pulling up his zipper. Being an Onanist is a full time job.  
  
"What have you done with my baby Cyper!" Neo growled, much like an angry kitten.  
  
"I won't tell you, he's cunningly hidden, and you'll have to follow a series of elaborate puzzels in order to..."  
  
"Found him!" Diamond yelled, showing everyone Baby Morpheus.  
  
"WAit! that's not him. Thats a bomb!" Neo cried!

_**(Fourteen by Spin)**_

Everyone's eyes widened.  
  
"Oh no!" they chorused. "Not a bomb!!"  
  
Diamond dropped the bomb as if it was... something you would drop really fast.  
  
"Nooooooo!!!" Neo wailed, and used his One powers to freeze it, because we've suddenly entered a post-Reloaded universe. "What were you thinking!"  
  
Diamond's full pink lips turned down into a pout.  
  
"I'll save you!" a deep voice bellowed out from the shadows of the cave, and Tank stepped dramatically out of the shadows of the cave.  
  
Ghost raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you dead?"  
  
Tank shrugged. "The author really hates Link. And she likes my eyebrows."  
  
Diamond nodded. "Yeah, you were definitely the coolest in the movies. I wrote a fanfic where you and I got married." A rock shattered above her head, and she flounced around. "Whhatt?"  
  
Neo waved his arms. "Helloooo people! BOMB!"  
  
Tank bent and quickly defused it. Everyone breathed a sigh of arcitonial relief. Blooblen.  
  
Cypher grinned his evil Cypher grin. "Now that that's over and done with, you can start on the puzzles. The first clue is... 'What is very like a chicken, but not a chicken at all?"

_**(Fifteen by Impromptu Requiem)**_

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" Cypher asked.  
  
Crystal gasped and then pouted, knowing the answer, but wanted to politely wait for Neo to answer. After all, he was the One, and he should know the answer since there was Alice in Wonderland symbolism in the film.  
  
Neo looked puzzled. His eyebrows raised dramatically, making his soft eyes tremble. Though he was in the real world, he wore a long black trench, because his other cassock made him look too girly, black pants, and a black shirt that accentuated his torso.   
  
Crystal, breaking the mounting tension, replied, "I learned this in Grade 10 English! It's right at the beginning of Alice in Wonderland! My god, you raped enough ideas from the book, you should know that." Startled by her outburst, she shrank demurely. Then, feeling she was not acting empowering enough, she ordered a shot of vodka and sternly looked at Neo.  
  
Tank spoke up cheerfully, trying to change the subject.  
  
"Man, today is a wonderful day -I am so glad you got rid of Link. I never knew Zion had such good steak, considering no animals exist. This is happy Tank speaking."  
  
Neo stared at Crystal's luminous eyes intently. Staring was something he did well.  
  
"Crystal, my dear, your brilliance amazes me. Trinity never liked to read. She was angular and Baroque, though I mistook her hair for Rococo at one point, but you are sensuous and represent the purest ideals of Socialist Realism, German Expressionism, and Orientalism.  
  
As Crystal focused her twin glittering eyes upon Neo's face, she caught sight of the Twins heading over to their table.  
  
"Hello Crystal. We are the Twins. You've heard of us since we are in the fics that always get lots of reviews on You are an OC and we are the twins with cool hair, so we will now carry you away for Twincest."

_**(Sixteen by Spin)**_

Diamond Crystal smiled mysteriously, and leaned forward. "Twincest," she purred. "Now that sounds exciting." Two extended his strong, manly white hand, and pulled her to her feet. She giggled, and flipped her silky hair.  
  
Ghost glared, which made him look even more constipated than usual, and Neo's bottom lip began to tremble pitifully. He's very sensitive.  
  
(Neo's POV)  
As I saw my new true love being stolen away from me, with apparently no regard for my missing Baby Morpheus situation, it brought back memories of my tragic past, and the loss of my other one true love. Trinity. She was more perfect than perfection.  
  
I felt as if someone was stabbing me repeatedly in the heart as I remembered the night that Trinity had been stolen away from me...  
  
fade into flashback  
"Neo, come on! We're docking with the Logos to help with maintence!"  
  
Neo frowns at her. "God Trinity, you're not the boss of me. I can take care of myself." He sits down heavily on his bed, and petulantly begins tying his boots.  
  
"Don't be such a jerkface Neo! I spent all day taking care of Baby Morpheus, and we just finished having really hot sex, and now you're being mean to me! That's so uncool!"  
  
"SHUT UP" he shouted at the top of his lungs.  
  
"FINE! she shouted. "I'M GOING TO TALK TO GHOST!"  
  
She slammed the door, narrowly avoiding being hit in the head with his boot. He stood and opened the door, and watched with eyes narrowed as she stalked down the hall towards Ghost.....

_**(Seventeen by Tamsin)**_

TWO DAYS LATER ON THE NEB.  
  
"Hmm," thought Neo. "Trinity has refused to speak to me for two whole days, despite the fact that we are on a ship with only two other people and this could very easily mean one of us dies without having resolved this stupid squabble. What to do?"  
  
He gazed at the goop, and in its glutinous depths, an answer emerged. (Not a good one, so blame the single celled protein.) "I know! Trinity is a resolutely independent person with a very strong sense of self. We have a very warm and mutually supportive relationship, and the thought of her suffering in any way is more than I can bear. I shall therefore proceed to beat the crap out of her as this will be really sexy and she'll be desperate to shag like bunnies after. Woah."  
  
He was surprised that she was so passive about his violent efforts. Later, as she lay sweetly smiling in his arms, he stroked the black marks on her face and the swelling cuts. "Does that hurt?" Neo said doubtfully.  
  
"Yes," Trinity said happily. "But in some warped teenage girl's mind, that makes it all the more special and moving that we then made it up."  
  
"I always thought the only man who got to hit you and survive was an Agent."  
  
"Oh, yes. I mean, usually. When I'm in character. But where's the fun in that? How can anyone Canon Mary Sue if they need to trouble themselves with such minor details? Um... while I'm on the subject- there is something I've always wanted to do..."

_**(Eighteen by Storm Troll)**_

[Lyk this chapta is rated R for Realy Hot SEx!!!!111!!11!]  
Suddenly, in the blink of a really fast eye, they were in the construct.  
Trinity was wearing bright blue, form fitting spandex and Neo felt his innuendo rise to the occasion, causing the pleather bike shorts he was wearing to crawl further up his buttocks.  
  
"Trin! What are you doing?!" He cried out in sudden extasy as she kicked him in the groin.  
  
"I'm just pandering to all the sick fangirls out there who want to see me in hot, tight and most of all transparent spandex, and want to see your skinny as being smacked around by me! Bitch!"  
She hit him with some kind of fetish.  
  
"Please Trin NO! It hurts, yet I feel so aroused. Mistress."  
  
Then I got too lazy to type the rest of what happened, so:  
  
[THEY HAD HOT, GREASY SEX. REALLY GREASY. AND FULL OF SICK FETISHES. AND SPANKINGS. THEY ARE AKIN TO MAD BUNNIES, DOING IT LIKE THIS WAS THEIR LAST NIGHT IN ZION.]  
  
Meanwhile, back at the Twin's Swinging Zion/Matrix pad....

_**(Nineteen by Bleak Reality) **_

Diamond Crystal was held tightly between the Twins, like the meat in a chickenloaf sandwich. Dredlocks tangled, and Twin1 hummed Evanescence as he kissed the long line of Diamond Crystal's honey coloured neck.  
Suddenly Twin2 dissolved and reappeared at the door to the Swingin Pad, motioning for the other two to stop moaning and listen. Before Diamond Crystal could tear her amaranthine spheres (AN: that's poetic language for eyes, in case ur stoopid) from Twin1's perfect sixpack, the doorway exploded, sending the cage dancers fleeing for the furthest corners of the room. The Twins jumped up, but Diamond Crystal stood in front of them with her dukes up and ready.  
Two boys with fiery hair stepped through the rubble, wearing a whole lot of dragonskin and not a great deal else. Diamond Crystal frowned at their cloaks and wands, and demanded,  
"Who do you think you are?"  
The boys glanced at each other, then each moved to take the arm of a Twin.  
"They're late for the TCA meeting love," one boy said to Diamond Crystal.  
"That's TwinCest Anonymous, in case you're too smart to figure out anything so simple," the other added.  
"You're not taking my fantasies anywhere!" the author yelled through Diamond Crystal's perfect rose petal lips.  
  
[TBC!!1!]

_**(Twenty by Impromptu Requiem)**_

Diamond composed herself. She would have been smashed if not for the extraordinary resolve of her character. Just like her namesake, she could withstand the greatest pressure and heat.  
  
Daddy Morpheus appeared.  
  
"Crystal, my love, I bring tidings of good news. Though you were not on my ship in the film, I have read and been touched by your stories about Niobe and me on "  
  
"Well, god, I felt so sorry that you never got to snog like Neo and Trinity in the films. You're, like, totally, the OTP, except for them."  
  
Morpheus, fingering his pendant and sitting on a chair, replied, "I have truly been touched by your dedication to us, Diamond. Your story 'Gentle strength, Quiet love' inspired us to get together, and ...uh." Morpheus blushed.  
  
"OMG, I knew it! Niobe dumped Locke and you're having a little baby now! And you want me to be the godmother -you would have asked Trinity, but she's dead. That was your good news, right?"  
  
Niobe, flouncing in from nowhere, nodded in agreement. She wore a pink dress and a flower in her hair. Diamond knew she was a badass though, so she understood when Niobe completely ignored her and didn't say hi.  
  
"Morpheus, we have a problem. Neo, while searching for Diamond, has gotten distracted by the rust on the wall."

_**(Twentyone by Spin)**_

Diamond Crystal squinted her beeatiful eyes as she tried hard not to trip over her five inch heels as she followed Niobe's bouncy pink dress. "Maybe I should have worn more sensible shoes," she thought to her self. "We do live underground, after all."  
  
The intrepid trio made their way back to Zion's tres chic steakhouse, and suddenly came upon a small crowd of people. As she is a badass, Niobe began pushing people left and right. Morpheus could have sworn he heard her growl, just as Ghost appeared from the alleyway, hurriedly tucking in his pants.  
  
At Morpheus's questioning eyebrow, Ghost rolled his eyes with a superier heir and pointed. Neo stood with his nose pressed against a large metal wall, gazing desolately at a small speck of rust. Morpheus sighed heavily to himself, and rubbed his big large hand over his shiny smooth head.  
  
"Hey!!" Tank yelled excitedly. "Look who I found over in the bar!" The entire crowd turned to look.  
  
Sparks looked skecptical. "What's that old bag doing here?" he muttered to AK, who giggled. "Anyway, remember, on my signal, you push Ghost, and then i'll take his boots..."  
  
The Oracle slowly made her way over to Neo, flicking the tip of her cigarette. "Do you want some candy? How about cake? That will surely make everything better."  
  
Neo wailed pitieously, and beat his fists against the wall. "Noooo! I can't take it anymore! Everyone keeps leaving me, I can't find Baby Morpheus, Trin is DEAD because Ghost is CLUMSY, I can't find my hair gel, and I just don't know what to doooo!" He sniffled. "I'm so alone, and only the rust understands my pain."  
  
The Oracle patted his shoulder. "Don't you worry your dorky little head, dear. I'm going to tell you, step by step, exactly what you need to do. I even have some helpful diagrams."  
  
Neo blinked in surprise, and tore his deep chocolately soulful eyes away from the rust. "You mean you're going to tell me what to do? No choices? No crytic riddles that I won't understand until after the fact? Not even any obscure pop culture references?  
  
She smiled benevolentedly. "This is badfic, dear. Now, the first thing you need to know is....

_**(Twentytwo by Tamsin)**_

..."that in exactly five days, fourteen hours, twelve minutes and sixteen seconds Trinity will miraculously reappear. Undead."  
  
There was a gasp.  
  
"Z-zzz..zombies?" Sparks said nervously. He licked his lips. "Um... any chance the Logos can head out soon?"  
  
"Loser," muttered Maggie. "Grow a spine."  
  
There was a general buzz of agreement.  
  
"The fangirls don't think so!" Sparks said defensively. "They all want me!"  
  
"None of them have ever met you," Ghost pointed out politely. "That might change things."  
  
"You always take Niobe's side! Kiss ass!"  
  
The Oracle sighed. "You people. Can't you work out who the enemy is? Damn, no wonder you ain't never gonna win that war without Dork Boy over there."  
  
"We're getting off the point," Diamond said snootily. The Oracle looked at her with a certain malice.  
  
"So we were."  
  
"Trinity is a zombie."  
  
"No, the author can't use English properly. She isn't dead."  
  
"She's alive?" Neo's face lit up. Cute. Dorky, but cute.  
  
"Bingo."  
  
"But HOW!"

_**(Twenty three by Impromptu Requiem)**_

"We at 01 Medical Center have healed the female rebel," Sam the Stupid Squid said out of nowhere. "She is in amazing condition, though she does not remember who you are Neo. This is a good time to ask all of you to donate funds for our neurology center."  
  
Neo was overjoyed. He ran to embrace Sam the Stupid Squid, but Sam suddenly fell to the ground.  
  
Fluffy the Squid towered over them all, having knocked out Sam with a keg of beer.  
  
"Dude, I'm really not into this talking squid AU nonsense, but this has gone far enough. Trinity has been healed by a phenomenon known as a Plot Device. We must all suspend our disbelief -in fact Neo, that's how you were healed too."  
  
Neo fainted. Fluffy continued.  
  
"I want to attempt to restore order to this fic. The squids hate you and will attack in seven days, giving you less than 48 precious hours with Trinity. I, however, will not cut you up into shreds right now, as I enjoy the Zion raves and bar crawling. And I need to find Kit."  
  
Diamond, suddenly not the center of attention, waved her gloriously sculpted arms around. "Wait, let me take you around Zion, Fluffy!"

_**(Twenty four by Tamsin)**_

"No." Fluffy stated rudely. "You're annoying, boring and self satisfied. You also have a stupid name. Kit is amoral, evil and hilarious. If scary. (Neon ropes. Woo hoo.) She makes me feel at home. It's familiar, she reminds me of my Mommy. I want to go get wrecked with Kit."  
  
"You can't," Neo said seriously. "She's moving house, hasn't a connection, and only shows up in a real emergency at the moment."  
  
Fluffy's bottom tentacles started to tremble. "But...."  
  
"Never mind," Morpheus said comfortingly. "Imp's evil. And just as insane. Amata is queen of the Badfic. Empathy is just barking. Fangirls can keep you occupied in the interim."  
  
Diamond stamped her perfectly shod foot. "Look! I'M the Mary Sue around here! This is MY WORLD! MINE!"  
  
Neo looked scared. "Um. We've heard that line before somewhere..."

_**(Twenty five by Empathy)**_

"Yes, you have, Neo!" said a shrill and annoying voice from the dark shadows.

"Who are you?"  
  
"I'm the ultimate SI. My name's Empathy. I was just unplugged by you, so now I'm the newest kickass addition to your crew, don't you remember? See, I even have the deep and meaningful name. So it means you can come to me whenever you start to miss Trinity, Neo, because I can EMPATHISE, see? I, too, have lost someone dear to me, and so I'm going to be continually ANGSTY and we'll comfort each other into the long hours of the morning, which may or may not turn into something more, even though I know Trinity is still alive and that you are engaged to Diamond and OMG I HAVE NO HAIR! I'M BALD, I'M BALD!!11! What happened to my silky raven hair?!1! How can you gaze into my chocolate brown orbs when I have no hair? I must be so ugly, who on earth could love me now?! Oh woe is me!!1!"

_**(Twentysix by Tamsin)**_

Maggie looked at Sparks and grinned. "Wasn't your punishment to go get laid by a bunch of willing and eager fangirls?"  
  
"No." Sparks said at once.  
  
Empathy looked at him and smiled sweetly. "You sure?" She said. "Quite certain?"  
  
Sparks backed slowly behind Ghost, shaking his head. "Neo, man- your territory."  
  
"Trinity's alive," said Neo patiently. "I'm not interested in Mary Sues. They seem unable to grasp this, but it's just getting stupid now. Can someone please write a way out of this?"  
  
BANG.  
  
_AN- extremely large bomb kills Diamond and Empathy at once. (Sorry Emp. Nothing personal babe. But they were pissing me off.)_  
  
"Now," Neo said, "before Trinity and I can share our heartwarming reunion- it's time for Ghost and I to sort things out. Ghost- you know what you did. How could you have..."


End file.
